Rapper launches song slamming Turnbull’s FTTN network


news A rapper called LLK recently released her first solo track, with lyrics that pull no punches in their criticism of the National Broadband Network’s multi-mix technology policy.

The track – titled NBN Co. (copper bullshit) – bemoans the use of copper to the premises instead of the optic fibre LLK had hoped for, describing the NBN as “copper bullshit” and saying the HFC tech is “gonna go slow”.

LLK, whose full name is Linda La Konic, further suggests that doing business as a musician will be hard with broadband over copper, and that the NBN is causing the future to be “hijacked”.

LLK said in a press release that she was inspired to write the lyrics after the rollout changed from fibre to the home (FTTH) to fibre to the node (FTTN).

“It’s bogus”, she said. “People have no idea how they’re being ripped off.”

“The so-called Ideas Boom will be dead in the water without any credible infrastructure to run our technology on,” LLK suggested. “The jobs of the future, which haven’t been invented yet, will all be conceived in countries that know the value of a strong foundation. The least I can do is try to get the word out there”.

LLK now hopes her track can reach a wide audience, influence people to “take a stand against the stupid suits holding us to ransom”.

See the full lyrics of the song below (or hear the track on SoundCloud):

NBN Co. (copper bullshit)

I was gonna get fibre

All the way to ma home

Settin’ up ma future

Had a real glow

But now I’m only gettin’

Fibre to the node

What does that mean?

It’s gonna go slow


Let’s go


Net slow-mo


Copper copper copper copper

Copper copper copper copper

Copper copper copper copper

copper copper copper bullshit

Copper copper copper copper

Copper copper copper copper

Copper copper copper copper

copper copper copper fuckwit

Even in the lucky country

You get screwed over

If I don’t speak up

Then I’m the stoopid sucker

Can’t do business

Ridin’ on a turtles back

May as well pack up

Our futures hijacked


Let’s go


Net slow-mo


Image credit: Office of Mitch Fifield


  1. “LLC, whose full name is Linda La Konic, further suggests that doing business as a musician will be hard with broadband over copper, and that the NBN is causing the future to be “hijacked”.”

    I just downloaded 45 GB of electronic music gear. Yep. 45 GB. At one hit. On my FTTP at 25/5 it took 4 hours. That’s OK. But on ADSL it would have taken about FOUR DAYS.
    No congestion at all in the 4 hours that it took me on FTTP. I got 25 down the whole time.
    No rotting copper last mile.
    Just full fibre.

    And if 45 GB shocks you it is actually modest – it’s common in music to download a lot more; there are products that go to about 150 GB. Moreover Eastwest who makes these tools A FEW MONTHS AGO STOPPED ALL PHYSICAL PURCHASES. In other words you can ONLY buy the products by online download. This is an increasing trend; it is assumed now that the purchaser has fast internet.

    Fibre internet is essential for creative industries, especially music production.

      • Eastwest used to send their shipped products to you in a 2TB custom built hard drive. Naturally the shipping costs were yours.

        As I said now they no longer offer such a product line. The only way to buy their products is to download them. They are joining many other companies such as blender’s sales line who only sell products or tutorials as digital downloads.

    • You can get fibre internet now. Nothing stopping you … oh, except, you want ME and everyone else to pay the install cost for you.

      • $10,000-20,000 for a personal install paid for by a single consumer vs <$4,000 for a nationwide install paid for by all users of the network and using interest rates not available to any consumer or business.

        No, you're just economically retarded.

  2. Slightly off topic Renai (I think I’m within my rights for this thread) but do u have another stock photo other than ‘constipated politician’. He looks like his nodes are about to pop. ?

    • Not constipated – this photo is after the event. Mitch looks as though he needs a can opener to get out of his underpants. Don’t be alarmed however. With a FTTN cabinet nearby, this is just a natural reaction when you are told by the weather bureau that an East Coast low is on its way.


    Quotes from the article:

    “A rapper called LLK…”
    “LLC, whose full name is Linda La Konic,…”
    “LLC said in a press release…”
    “LLK now hopes her track can reach…”

    Etc. :)

    So is it; LLC or LLK,(her actual initials)?

    Later, RIPP :)

  4. I wanted to see if this was on Youtube, but couldn’t find it under a quick search.

    However; I did find the following for those poor saps getting FTTN, or already on FTTN,(especially if your copper’s bad, on a long run, or your node is nicely flooded) etc..

    A statement to many about their FTTN issue & a protest to nbn, is how the lyrics seem to fit.


    Think it fits pretty well once it gets going ;)

    Hope you enjoy it,(the rap, not the FTTN).

    Later, RIPP.

  5. Wow, if this is the crap that she was able to come up with because she is on FTTN, imagine how must worse it would be if she was on FTTH. Yawn… Must be a slow news day…

    Maybe she should put her efforts into moving to an area that has FTTH or rent out a studio in a fibre area…

  6. Not an impressive track but I imagine based on the lyrics that her understanding of what the NBN is is probably quite limited . There’s clearly a Peaches or Ping Pong Bitches type vibe going on but just underdeveloped at this stage.

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