Shock: iPhone 5 queue “pretentious, superficial”


blog Shock news has arrived this morning courtesy of The Register, which reports that the experience of queueing overnight (or even for several nights running) to buy an iPhone 5 may not be the glorious experience which Apple fans have believed it to be. El Reg reports (we recommend you click here for the full, disturbing article):

“Physics student “Jessica C E”, who was second in line at Optus and wore rather natty pink flannelette Cookie Monster pyjamas she would not allow us to photograph, proclaimed queuing overnight “absolutely retarded, superficial and pretentious.””

To be honest, I can’t believe that someone would make these comments. If queueing up to buy an Apple product wasn’t a holistic, soul-enriching experience, why would people do it? Has Steve Jobs’ reality distortion field finally started to fade, as the Apple reins pass to his more modest deputy, Tim Cook? Will the world as we know it come to a crashing end? I can’t believe I’m reading these words. “Jessica C E” should be ashamed. She’s crushing people’s dreams here. If enough people read her comments, this could lead to the dissolution of iSociety as we know it. Disturbing.

Image credit: 惟①刻¾, Creative Commons


  1. Breaking news, Senator Conroy has publicly slammed online pseudo-anonymous internet blog and zealot hide-out ‘Delimiter’ as an internet troll portal.

    Mr Conroy is quoted as saying: “The internet trolls just don’t get it, writing these articles criticizing others on the internet is wrong. And we need the new data retention laws so these people, these criminals – no mistake, that is what these people are – these criminals learn that they can’t hide behind the portal to pull off these disgusting attacks.” he added “I heard this so-called Renai character even has a Twitter account, he is all but rubbing it in our faces that he is a portal troll”

    My Conroy’s office confirmed that they have asked the online internet blog to hand over the IP address details of the user identifying himself as ‘Renai’ but has so far been ignored. The matter has been referred to the AFP.

  2. I laughed, especially at this

    “There were no such problems at one of the mall’s Vodafone stores, which had no queue and no customers, doubtless twin results of the carrier’s numerous network failures and lack of a 4G network.”

  3. If is the Today Tonight of tech journalism, the Register is Frontline. Generally Delimiter is a touch above this sort of stuff. Aim higher, you are good at what you do!

      • Heh. Are you serious? Maybe you should read this if you are (or even if you aren’t :) ). There’s a new top dog in town, wearing the performance crown.

        Just a shame that the new maps are shite and iOS is still so dated looking and frustratingly limited, that I have to jailbreak and install 30+ tweaks to customise it to my needs. However given I enjoy that experience of tweaking it how I want it (and there is more than enough power to run 100 mobilesubstrate tweaks simultaneously) I am waiting patiently for the first A6 exploit to be found.

        As for maps, Google will be releasing their Google maps apps in the App Store (hopefully vector based like Android, but I doubt it) as they have done with YouTube, and an easy re-redirect script tweak from Cydia will even make it the default maps app again if you want (a prediction that I’ll happily wager money on).

        Now that I’ve finally seen it for myself, I agree with the reviews that say you haven’t seen the iPhone 5 until you’ve held it. My iPhone-crazy friend waited in line yesterday and came around today to gloat and show his off and it was impossible not to be impressed. The build quality is nothing short of amazing, and the matte black model looks so much better than it does in photos. The new screen is one of the best I’ve seen on any smartphone (forgetting size, and focusing purely on picture quality in regards to pixel density, contrast, colour range and accuracy). It would have been nice to see Apple up the size to 4.3″ and 720p, but there are many practical reasons why this would have been a bad idea (both hardware and software wise). Just the move to 16×9 transforms it into something you can actually comfortable watch a movie on now, given half the screen isn’t wasted on black bars.

        It also finally feels really nice in the hand again (similar feel to the very first iPhone, but half the weight and thickness). It’s freakishly light though. Almost too light, but I’m sure I’ll quickly adapt to that.

        There’s plenty of valid criticism to be heaped on iOS, but as far as the hardware is concerned; as The Verge put it: “Apple have created a beast of a phone”. I tried not to love it, but resistance was futile. I’ll be ordering mine as soon as more stock is available :)

        • @Simon Reidy

          There’s a new top dog in town, wearing the performance crown.

          Great….and that means….what for people who don’t even use the full power of their iPad3, let alone their phone?? I have a One XL and other than crappy memory management (due to be updated this week hopefully) I can’t keep up with it.

          As for maps, Google will be releasing their Google maps apps in the App Store

          True, but Google Navigation won’t be available. That is Android only. And it’s MILES ahead of iOS6 Turn-by-Turn and even Navigon in some areas (also available in the AppStore)

          The build quality is nothing short of amazing, and the matte black model looks so much better than it does in photos.

          It’s a phone. By Apple. Of course the build quality was going to be amazing. They said that about the iPhone 4 and it was…until people started dropping it on its’ glass. Point is, design is VERY subjective. I love the One XL and it’s plastic. I dislike the design on the S3 and it’s ALSO plastic. And I DROOL over the Nokia Lumia 920 and the HTC 8X. And they’re BOTH plastic.

          The new screen is one of the best I’ve seen on any smartphone

          Yep, it is. But the Nokia Lumia 920 will be better in October. Already confirmed. Has 346ppi. NOT Pentile.

          Just the move to 16×9 transforms it into something you can actually comfortable watch a movie on now, given half the screen isn’t wasted on black bars.

          I was always struck how silly it was for Apple to stay 4:3 when everyone had moved to widescreen. I predict we’ll see a widescreen iPad mini 7 Inch. Maybe even a Widescreen iPad 10 Inch. Brings Apple into line with the rest of the world….

          There’s plenty of valid criticism to be heaped on iOS, but as far as the hardware is concerned

          Again, who will use all that power?? All it’s going to do, especially with a LTE chip, is suck down the power. And that was always one of Apple’s strong suits. Why would they suddenly dump battery life over hardware crowns? That’s not Apple’s way.

          I honestly don’t get this iPhone. It brings NOTHING that Android and Windows Phoine don’t already have- and that makes no sense for an Apple iPhone. It’s gotta be the first new iPhone released (as in redesigned, not refresh> Read iPhone 4 was the last one) where, other than in hardware, it is WORSE (in features) than many phones that have been available for months. No NFC (Yes, it’s still limited in usefulness, but it’s growing), no wireless charging (both the S3 (via special requirements) and the Nokia Lumia 920 yet to be launched (by default) have wireless charging). It’s battery is TINY (1440mAh and my 1750mAh on my One XL struggles to last half a day using LTE) and it’s screen is FINALLY in the same league as most Android/Windows Phone Phones.

          It honestly appears to me that this is the first iPhone where APPLE are playing catchup…..And I STILL don’t get people who queue overnight for something that has no overall supply limit….

          • It’s a newer generation of LTE tech so doesn’t have the battery life implications, hence why they waited until it was properly ready for the consumer.

            Other than that, you just really need to use the iPhone 5 to appreciate and understand what it is about.

            I’ve worked just about my whole career in mobile software development (since 1993). In that time there have been two devices that have blown me away. The 3GS, which was the first exceptional iPhone from a software developer’s perspective, and the iPhone 5. Oddly enough, both declared boring by the media.

            There are many great improvements in iOS6. For the general population it remains the best choice of OS as it is so easy to understand. For the developer, it is outstanding, incredibly rich, robust and powerful and a terrific creative canvas. For the ‘tweaker’ the newer Android versions might be the best choice. The tweaker is a much smaller audience yet much more vocal. Tech press and tech press commenters tend to fall into this category, there’s nothing wrong with that, but they represent their own category, not the broader market.

            That leaves the other player, Windows Phone. I can really appreciate what they done with this OS. Very innovative and very standardised. Boring for creative developers as you can’t really innovate on it, as all the innovation is done for you. It’s also not ideal for tweakers who tend to like more control. This sort of leaves it in a different space. It’s really good and appreciated by everyone, but no-one really loves it. This explains a lot as to where it is in the market.

            The new Nokia device looks very good. I think what people have missed though is that the iPhone 5 has just given us a new form factor. The combination of lightness, larger screen but smaller size, support for one handed use, decent battery and fastest performance on the market sets a new standard. The Nokia is nearly twice the weight. This will not make it easy for them. I do love the design but perhaps the goal posts have just changed again.

          • @David

            It’s a newer generation of LTE tech so doesn’t have the battery life implications, hence why they waited until it was properly ready for the consumer.


            Real-world usage shows 8-12 hours of normal use battery life….or about what I get on my One XL….

            I do love the design but perhaps the goal posts have just changed again.

            Again, we’re talking subjectively here. I find my One XL too light- you can’t use it one handed to type in small hands like mine, because there isn’t enough weight in it to not move. And it’s heavier than an iPhone 5. I don’t have an issue with the weight of the HTC Desire HD and THAT is heavier than the Nokia Lumi 920 will be.

            There are good and bad things about the iPhone. I don’t like it. But I know it would be perfect for several of my family members. I am just very baffled as to why this iPhone is WORSE than several phones already on the market….and it’s STILL being called a game changer. iPhones USED to be the market benchmark….now, their just another one in the top 5. That’s nothing to poo poo, but they’re just not innovating anymore. And that is my issue. It’s the Microsofts and Nokias and even LGs that are now.

          • Funny that there’s a seven_tech that regularly posts negative comments on every second Apple story at Gizmodo AU. That wouldn’t be you would it? ;-)

            I can’t be bothered pulling your posts apart point by point, so I’ll keep this brief. There are many hackers, coders and knowledgeable tech-heads that still prefer Apple hardware and iOS, regardless of its limitations. Why? Because anyone that knows what they are doing and becomes frustrated with Apple’s admittedly restrictive walled garden, will be able to soon jailbreak their iPhone 5 and completely tweak and customise the hell out of it, with more ease than an Android phone.

            Cydia is now a professional and massive 3rd party source of paid and free tweaks (all tied to your Google account to use across as many devices as you want). Its so easy to use that even my Mum’s iPad is jailbroken (ok, so I helped a little :) ). With over 10 million devices currently registered in Cydia, that’s not an insignificant number. It shows that there are still many people that prefer a jailbroken iDevice over an Android device (which to get the most out, and stay up to date, you usually have to root and flash a custom ROM anyway).

            Here, I’ll let the internet explain why the iPhone 5 is still the most preferable phone for people like myself.

            Lifehacker: Forget Android: iPhone Is Better For Hacking And Customisation

            iDownloadBlog: iPhone 5 has been jailbroken (iOS hackers move quickly!)

            Gizmodo UK: One Key Way The iPhone 5 Totally Destroys The Competition – Tests performed by AnandTech, nuff said.

            Apple iPhone 5 vs. Samsung Galaxy S3 vs. HTC One X (pictures) – I’m not trying to say “its the best” here either; just that the camera is a big improvement over the 4S and over most other current cameras on top end smarpthones.

            Same goes with 1080p video which is now encoded at a higher bit-rate, and has much better image stabilisation as you can see in this iPhone 4S vs iPhone 5 video test on YouTube Keep in mind video is re-compressed for YouTube at a much lower bit-rate, so forget about picture detail as its blocky as hell (just check out the difference in lens wobble and stabilisation). It’s probably not as good as the Nokia’s 920 optical stabilisation, but still a big improvement over the 4S. Contrary to your claims of wasted power, the A6 chip really helps maintain a solid frame rate in low light, as well as speeding up the photos for burst photography by at least 2x.

            Redmond Pie: iPhone 5 Display Is Better Than “Any Consumer Display” You Own Note that this claim is backed up by Displaymate’s industry standard scientific tests (and my own eyes :))

            These links aren’t designed to say “the iPhone is the best”, far from it. There are many key areas where Apple is falling behind the competition (iOS6 maps obviously suck) and their overly restrictive OS (i.e. not letting you choose your default browser or mail client) is nothing short of painful.

            However the point is once you jailbreak, you still retain access to Apple’s massive ecosystem of awesome apps, and the speed and fluidity of iOS, combined with access to thousands of tweaks that dramatically improve it’s performance and capabilities; and in the process removing all limitations of the device.

            For example Chrome is my default browser on all my iDevices, it now has a download manager and can access the entire file-system (through a great file Cydia file manager called iFile), it can run custom javascript plugins, and supports gestures for things like going full-screen with a 3 finger tap.

            The only real point of this post is to say that the iPhone 5 is still a beautiful piece of hardware, and I agree that its the OS that lets it down in many ways. However given how easily gripes with the OS are overcome when jailbreaking, its simply not an issue for people like me that like to tweak. In fact having all that power of the A6 and a 1GB or ram is just perfect for adding tweaks without noticeable slowdown. I really enjoy the whole process of jailbreaking, and following the community of jailbreak developers, and am looking forward to jailbreaking my iPhone 5 as soon as possible. First thing I’ll be doing is installing Google Maps :)

          • “I was always struck how silly it was for Apple to stay 4:3”

            Perhaps Apple was aware that people use their idevices for tasks other than watching movies. I’m appalled at how 16:9 has polluted laptops, the vast majority have 768 vertical resolution which I thought was obsolete 10 years ago…

          • @Annoying Old Dart

            That’s not a reason to hate widesceen. That’s a reason to hate cheap manufacturers.

            I’m thankful for widescreen for 90% of what I use my devices for.

          • Sorry if I gave the impression that I hate widescreen… I’m quite pleased with my 1600*900 Toshi (and I do watch a fair bit of FTA TV on it). Certainly I disdain manufacturers who are supplying very low-end screens; and not all of them are cheap! I’m glad that you’re happy… I’d be more happy if I could get a “tallscreen”.

          • Yes. 16:9 is especially useless on tablets because, in landscape mode the pop up keyboard covers too much of the screen, and in portrait mode the larger device feels awkward. 4:3 is a lot more like working with a piece of A4 paper. Aside from watching movies I can’t see a single benefit to 16:9 on a tablet.

  4. I have always found it puzzling that there can be a line at the apple store when you can walk into a telstra vodafone or optus store and buy it with much less fuss and normally quicker than at apple

      • cold and wet with a bunch of nerds hmmm

        I can get the last part elsewhere and the first part sucks


    • Yes, I would never do it, but each to their own…

      After all, who are we to tell others how they should or shouldn’t get their jollies :-)

    • The Telstra shop I walk past (from the train station to my work) had a large queue at 8:30-ish this morning. I took an early lunch today and there was still a queue at 11am.

  5. I just like some of the comments. Was something like:

    “I havent opened the box yet, but its great!”

    Then there’s the umm… “feature” of the Maps app included in iOS 6. It umm… has the Sydney store in the wrong location… The store selling the very first iPhone 5’s and they cant get it in the right spot…

    Not a good start.

    • “I havent opened the box yet, but its great!”

      Yes, it’s just as silly as “I haven’t used it but is just way better and Apple is crap so there”.

      It’s all a bit weird. Probably the closest similarity is “I used to like this artist but they are too mainstream now”.

      The same basic emotion i.e., – “I don’t like it because they do”.
      Always best to form your own opinion based on experience. Nothing else should matter.

      • Aarrggh the comment system lost stuff s/b “I haven’t used it but (insert device here) is just way better and Apple is crap so there”.

  6. Wow. That’s a REAL surprise….that someone actually admitted it that is.

    I’ve never understood this. Hell, I don’t even get people lining up for concert tickets, but at least that makes sense, seing as they are finite.

    Good luck waiting in the cold and wet. I’ll be warm in my bed (actually, warm in economy class, but it’s STILL better than waiting for an iPhone on the street)…

  7. I have begun to realise that the only reason companies seek to gain an emotional connection with their customers is that they don’t have faith that their product will sell on its own merits.

    Nike? Coca Cola? Apple?

      • “People don’t act rationally — they usually act on emotion.”

        Read it as, ‘act on emoticon’; apple marketing really are market leaders.

  8. Was doing a training course next to Apple shop in Perth CBD.

    Even after about 4 hours, staff were still jumping up and down and clapping when someone came into the store from the queue.

    How you can keep a smile and jump and clap after serving that many customers makes me wonder if they are drugged or something.

    It was kind of scary. I made a few baaaaa noises from time to time.

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