Kogan Technologies has created what it describes as a “portector” — a device designed to protect Australians from what Communications Minister Stephen Conroy recently described as “spams and scams in the portal”.

In a statement issued this morning, the Melbourne-based consumer electronics manufacturer claimed it was alarmed to hear last week that up to 20,000 Australians were under threat from the spams and scams.

“There’s a staggering number of Australians being in having their computers infected at the moment, up to 20,000 — uh — can regularly be getting infected by these spams or scams, that come through the portal,” Communications Minister Stephen Conroy had said at the launch of Cyber-Security Awareness Week.

Kogan said the revelation of the “spams and scams” was the perfect opportunity to create an alternative to the Federal Government’s proposed mandatory internet filter. The “Portector” is made from the finest 8,000-thread Egyptian cotton and is being billed as “the best portal protection in the world”.

“We’ve been shocked time and time again to hear not only about Australia’s need for a mandatory Internet filter, but also the need for a red panic button and protection from ‘spams and scams’,” said Kogan founder Ruslan Kogan in the company’s statement. “The Kogan Portector defends the portal from all of these net nasties in a far more affordable way than the Australian Government thanks to Kogan’s efficient online business model.”

Kogan said the Portector would cost just $2,999 per customer — which he said was over 50 percent off the cost of the government’s filter. “The product goes on sale today and includes free shipping across Australia for a very limited time,” he added.

The company said the Government’s $128.8 million Cyber Safety policy had been recently expanded to protect up to 20,000 Australians being affected by the “spams and scams”.

“At a cost of $6,500 per person, the Government’s inefficient spending of tax-payer money must be addressed,” Kogan’s statement said. “The Kogan Portector negates the need for the Government to devote more resources to its Cyber Safety policy as this all encompassing product is available today, is extremely easy to install, and is more cost-efficient and effective than the Government’s approach.”

However the product comes with a strict safety warning.

“Incorrect use may result in uncensored Internet content, freedom of speech, freedom of choice, freedom of thought, and protection of your civil liberties,” it states.

Oh dear.

Related posts:

1. Oh dear: Conroy’s “spams or scams in the portal”
2. Oh dear: McDonald’s rejects Kogan job application
3. Oh dear: Kogan’s all-out war on Harvey Norman
4. Kogan launches $189 eBook reader
5. Oh dear: The top ten funniest Conroy YouTube videos

1. Sean
   Posted 18/06/2010 at 9:40 am | Permalink | Reply

   HAHA! That is magic! And so cost effective too!

   • Renai LeMay
     Posted 18/06/2010 at 9:42 am | Permalink | Reply

     I know, apparently it’s 50 percent cheaper than the Conroy solution! Bargain! Buy now while stocks last!

     • Jenna Pitcher
       Posted 20/06/2010 at 5:20 pm | Permalink | Reply

       We can get 2 for the office!

2. John Boxall
   Posted 18/06/2010 at 10:10 am | Permalink | Reply

   Australian humour at its finest! Love it.

3. Darryl Adams
   Posted 18/06/2010 at 11:29 am | Permalink | Reply

   I can see the mastermind of the whole plan, sitting in Parlement house….

   “This was a triumph.
   I’m making a note here:
   HUGE SUCCESS.
   It’s hard to overstate
   My satisfaction. “

4. Mark M
   Posted 18/06/2010 at 1:55 pm | Permalink | Reply

   What no free set of streak knifes or call in the next 15 minutes and 2 for the price of 1 offers :P

   • Renai LeMay
     Posted 19/06/2010 at 3:29 pm | Permalink | Reply

     I’m sure if you called Kogan and seriously ordered one of these devices, that they would throw in a free set of steak knives ;)

   • Jenna Pitcher
     Posted 20/06/2010 at 5:22 pm | Permalink | Reply

     Forget steak knives! Just imagine if it came with a Slap Chop.

5. Pete
   Posted 18/06/2010 at 3:28 pm | Permalink | Reply

   Good on ‘em for doing this. If I had a couple of spare thou kicking around, I’d pay for it to go to air. Though yeah lack of steak knives is a bit of a concern…

   • Renai LeMay
     Posted 19/06/2010 at 3:30 pm | Permalink | Reply

     As would I — it would be nice to be rich and be able to finance things like this :)

     One day!

6. RoboticButtocks
   Posted 20/06/2010 at 4:14 pm | Permalink | Reply

   Superb!